Monday afternoon I go into Audrey's room at school to pick her up, and there is an incident report attached to her clipboard. Yup, she totally bit another kid. I have a biter. Which we knew she did because she tries to bite us and Ashley at home.
So what do we do now? I know the facts. This is completely normal at her age. In fact, when I was standing there talking to her teacher about it, another biting incident occured, and it did not involve Audrey. There are ten kids in her class, and her teacher said that 9 of them bite. Not a good percentage.
I know she does it out of frustration. At home, we will see Ashley snatch something out of Audrey's hands or try to mess with her and Audrey will reach over and try to bite. Part of me wants to let her do it to teach Ashley a lesson, but I know that a lose-lose situation all the way around.
We are going to stop all the pretending nibbling on toes games (even though her toes are very cute and she loves sticking her feet in my face). We are going to try to avert her desire to bite when we see it coming. Other than that, I have no idea what else to do. Ashley never bit anyone. This is new territory for me. Any and all advice is welcome...
- Amy W
- I am a 30-something working mom with two daughters; Ashley is 7 and Audrey is 5. Come sit, stay and read my Family Story...
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14 comments:
I really don't have any actual advice as thankfully, I haven't had a biter yet. But I have heard that kids bite as a way of communication. Even though she might not be talking completely, maybe if you tried to find some way to communicate with her it might help? I know that sounds corny, but maybe she's getting frustrated that she has these feelings and no way to express them.
Like I said, no actual advice. But good luck...I hope you find something that works!
Biting is normal at that age, but it isn't just you that does something about it. If there are 9 biters at daycare then chances are they are allowing them to get away with it there. And not to mention the whole "monkey see monkey too" syndrome with daycare. You need to say firmly "no bite" and then if she continues to do it, start with the time outs. She isn't too young for the 1 or 2 minute time outs, and it really does end the behavior quickly!
My 17 month old does this. When he gets frustrated, he leans over & bites the closest person or thing. It's funny when he bites the coffee table or his own toes. Not so funny when it's his big brother or the cat.
And ec is right about the copycat effect. Hollis was never a biter, but now that Holden does it, he bites too. Thankfully, he only bites his little brother, but it's a problem.
We do time outs with both of them for biting. It works with our 2 year old but I'm not sure if the 17 month old understands yet.
Abby wasn't a biter - until she was bitten alot around age 2 - and then she became one. Thankfully it didn't last long. My advice is if you see her bite Ashley at home, for ex, come to the aid of the Ashley - not Audrey first. Sometimes kids do it for the attention and if she realizes biting won't get her attention - she may stop. Also, I agree with EC. IMHO, if most of the class is biting, the teacher/school needs to re-examine how they are handling biting in that class. They need to take a harder stand on it. It should not be acceptable behavoir in the classroom (which I know you already know and agree with).
EC and Lawyer Mama have good advice. I gave you mine in email yesterday. You'll just have to wait it out basically and keep redirecting and telling her what behavior is unacceptable. If you need the names of the books that we read Tigger, I can look them up and email them to you. We use them with Eeyore now.
one of the kids I was a nanny for had a bad biting problem. and the pre-school was really getting on us to fix it or else.
we tried many, many things. what worked? as a last result we started putting tabasco in her mouth. about 3 days later, there was no more biting. ever.
not saying that you should do this yourself- but we were pretty desperate and it worked.
Definitely let me know if you come upon something that works. Ally was never a biter (but sometimes got bitten) but I can see it coming when Anya gets more teeth. She's just got that personality, I think. i'm gathering advice for the future already.
Good luck.
I wish I had some advice for you, but Kaylie was not a biter and, knock on lots of wood, neither is Alyssa!
I have heard of taking a small drop of something distateful, such as vinegar or something and putting it on their tongue when they do bite, but I've never know anyone that tried it, so I don't know if it works. So, there's my assvice!
Both Keven Jr. and Isaac got bit a lot (gotta love daycare!) and Isaac has bitten his brother at home a few times, but luckily he's never done that at daycare. Not that it couldn't happen, but I consider us lucky. Anyway, lots of "NO! BITING!" in a firm voice, redirection and even timmeout has proven to work for us. For now.
Good luck with this - it sucks. And I feel your pain.
Sorry I don't have any good advice. Fortunatly non of my kids were biters. Tantrums yes but no biting. They were frequent victims though...
Sorry Amy,
Cannot offer advice - I do hope someone here will be able to assist.
Still a sore point for me 'ouch' - the inability to bite with my own at the moment!!
Thank you for kind comments of my poems.
I don't know how old your daughter is - but I'm going to be the horrible mother and say:
Brush her teeth with soap when she bites. (I did it once to my child @ 2 1/2 and biting ceased immediately).
I like julie's advice too about giving the "non-biter" the attention.
Good luck.
hmm a biter on your hands huh?? It is completely normal! I can remember (vaguely) when I went though the stage..hmm yeah my mom used ot bite me back..obviously not hard..but it was enough where I realized it wasn't any funny anymore.....
I know my brother is going through this stage with his youngest daughter (2 years Old) he bites her back too then puts her in time out. Like ec said only for 1 or 2 minutes...but she gets the hint...obviously still does it..but not quite as often.
Not sure if it help or not...but thought I would share anyway!
Biting and boundries....... I still deal with it. I hope it is short lived.
PS. I closed the charity badge....he's going to OHIO.
Thank you for keeping it up as long as you did.
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