Hayden and Ashley at the beach...
The only downside to the whole weekend was Saturday night. Ashley was having a hard time going to bed and wasn't listening to me. I took her into my room to try and get her to calm down. That only fueled her fire. She screamed at the top of her lungs, keeping every other kid in the house awake. I couldn't get her to stop, and I didn't know what to do. The more I tried to rationalize with her, the more she screamed. The more she screamed, the more I cried. Finally Ray came in and somehow got her to calm down. She was exhausted I know. She was mad and frustrated. And she wasn't listening.
Since then, she has been doing this thing where she growls at us if she is mad. We have started taking toys away from her when she does this and trying to get her to express her anger in a different way. Mostly, we want her to calm herself down without growling at us or yelling sorry at us.
By Sunday night, I was exhausted and emotionally drained. In the midst of her yelling and screaming Saturday night, she had told me she didn't want any Mommy time on Sunday. My feelings were hurt. Of course, she didn't mean it and we did have time together, and I think she even forgot she said that to me.
Please, please tell me this is a stage, just like everything else??
18 comments:
I'm sure it's a phase. I'm sorry it was so draining for you...
She is just testing her limits with you. Tigger tells me ALL the time: "You are NOT my friend Mommy" which is his biggest insult.
What a fun weekend! It's so nice you live so close to the beach that you can just shoot over there for the weekend!
How tough with Ashley. I don't have any advice (I wish I did) other than trying to find the one thing that she really loves and taking it away from her for a period of time each time she screams (maybe Sunday she wasn't allowed to go out to the beach with Hayden for a couple hours???). I don't know because I haven't dealt with it...just a suggestion!
Not to sound pessimistic but welcome to the f'ing fours! It was a VERY trying year for us with Abby and seems to be with the majority of our friends. The only advice I have it don't take ANY of it personally and get ready for more to come. I couldn't stand that growling - Abby totally did it too. We tried taking away anything and everything to get her to behave - including ALL of her Barbie dolls at one point and thru good behavior she could earn one back at a time. You'll eventually hit on the one item that she really will "miss" - for Abby it is tv time. Just stick to your guns! : )
You are doing great with Ashley, this is just a trying stage. Just try not to let her see that she hurts you or frustrates you. (I know, easier said than done)
You are a great mom and I know she loves every moment she gets to spend with you.
She will outgrow it right before puberty starts. Murphy's law.
What a fun weekend, other than the episode with Ashley. Really, it is just a phase. You guys are such good parents, working with her to express her feelings in better ways. She'll come through it.
It is definitely a stage. Like CPA Mom said, she is testing her limits. Even though she can sit and have a conversation with you, she still can't always express how she feels when she's frustrated or upset. It's hard to remember that when they get past the toddler stage.
I know how frustrating it can be. Kaylie still gets like that, but not quite that often anymore.
I was told last night by my daughter (she'll be 5 in November) that I'm a big meanie and that she doesn't love me (all because I told her it was bed time.) It's a phase I'm sure. This morning she was all lovey dovey, hugging and kissing. It's hurtful when it happens, I know. I keep telling her I love her and she's my favorite girl and let it go. It is hard sometimes though.
Those pictures are precious!! Love them!!
I agree with everyone, it's a phase and she's just testing you. I'm still going through it!
Like everyone else has said I think it's a phase but it's tough for you while she's going through it and probably quite frightening for her. You need to keep reinforcing that you love her but not this sort of behaviour because it makes you sad.
The photos are really lovely.
I'm sorry you are dealing with this....but, yeah, my bet is this is a phase. Keep doing your best to hang in there are encourage her to talk (like you said). Whatever you decide to do, praise the good, punish the bad, combination of both,...just be consistent and stick to it. I know it is hard and it breaks our hearts when they say those things, but try to remind yourself that it is not personal. I know that it hard to do. I will be thinking of you and hoping this gets better soon!
A stage? Yeah. :) A stage you will get to repeat when she's a teenager. :) Sorry for the bad news.
It is totally a stage. And while my kids are still really young, I know how trying I was when I was little, and I outgrew it. Now I'm just lovely...! Really. I am.
(Actually Emma is going through a very demanding almost three-year-old it-better-be-a-stage-thing herself right now. Totally at my wits end - but if I take up my whole comment talking about it, I won't have anything to blog about myself!!)
It is a stage, and yes, it's good practice for the teen years. She sounds like she was so far out of control there was no rationalizing ability left. They're tough when they reach that point. Crying along is not unusual.
Going through the same thing!
When does it end is my question? Monkey D just turned 4 & it is like his behavior at things changed right along with him..
Frustrating- Hang in there, I know how hurtful & exhausting it can be!
:)
I agree she is testing her limits! She is getting old enough to have the words but may not always know how to use them.
I loved the pics of the girls on the beach!
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