Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Biting Sucks

We don't know what else to do. In the past two weeks, Audrey has bit this one little boy multiple times. And yesterday, she bit him twice.

And yes, she keeps biting the same kid. Nice, huh?

She had pretty much stopped biting until she broke her arm. And then in her sleep deprived state (with her freedom in her room without the crib rails, she was playing for a couple of hours before going to sleep), she started biting again.

But we have her sleep back on track (for the most part). And she goes to school having eaten breakfast, plus she eats a snack as soon as she gets there anyways. We read the Teeth Are Not For Biting book every night.

And now we are running out of options, and her teacher hinted that if we don't get this figured out, she will be kicked out of there.

So last night, I did some role playing where I had Ashley take a toy away from Audrey. But instead of trying to bit Ashley, Audrey just cried. I told her to say "No, Ashley".

And we are going to try a reward system. There will be no video in the car on the way home if she bits. And I have marshmallows as a treat if she doesn't bite.

In Audrey's defense, she isn't just walking up to this kid and biting him. He normally takes something from her that she is playing with. And they are working with him on that as well.

The only other option her teacher talked to me about yesterday was separating them. That would mean moving Audrey up to the next class, or moving the boy down a class. That has all kinds of problems as Audrey isn't the next one to move up, there are four kids in front of her, and I am pretty sure his Mom would be pissed if he was moved down a room. But at this point, I think moving Audrey up is a valid option.

Any ideas??

17 comments:

Lil Mouse said...

sounds like he started it!

deam said...

Is this a 2nd kid issue?? My Molly bites - but only if she is tired and really ticked off. Not excusing it, explaining it. We have the same books and are doing the same things. The other little girl at daycare is a biter too.

I have started grabbing her cheeks if I catch her ABOUT to do it and we have instituted a zero tolerance policy - she bites - she goes to her room for time out. *this works because for her being isolated from the rest of us is a deal breaker for her.

I too am at my whits end - so if you find something that works please share.

I think going up is a good way to handle it since it is ONLY that kid and if the patterns keep repeating it would be hard to break the behavior.

CPA Mom said...

well, I emailed you all my ideas before even reading this post. You didn't say it was the same kid in your email...I definitely think they need to be separated, however they do it.

Sabrina said...

I wish I could bite my coworker when he doesn't do what I tell him to do. Guarantee after the first bite, he'd shape up. Seriously.

No offense, but the other kid is a bit slow. If he's taking toys away from Audrey and she's biting him, maybe he should learn not to take toys away from her and then he won't get bitten.

But yeah, aside from my above Pro-biting comments, seriously, biting is an issue but they'll grow out of it. That's the great thing about your kids. Whatever you don't fix, society will.

Edie said...

I think moving her up is a very valid option. She doesn't do it unless she is provoked.

I'm sorry. This is a very tough one. i think you are doing all that you can at this point. :(

KathyM said...

My son used to bite all the time. He once left a mouth shaped bruise on another kid's face and also almost got kicked out of daycare. Hopefully for you this will be a phase that passes soon.

common mom said...

My daughter was a biter . . . but she only bit her brother! It was SOOOO frustrating. We tried punishment, etc. - pretty much everything - but none of it worked. What ended up working was that when she bit Jason, we totally ignored her - gave her absolutely no attention, not even negative attention. Then right in front of her we totally laid it on thick with Jason . . . he got special treatment and extra hugs and kisses and the occasional special trip to the dollar store to pick out a toy just for himself while Keira got nothing - she stood there and watched and cried as he got all this good attention. We talked to her teacher about it, and the few times she bit kids in class, they did the same thing. In a couple weeks, it was totally over with.

I'd talk to her teacher about maybe trying this. While the other kid shouldn't take her stuff, it's not right for her to bite either - it's so tough for them to not go with their emotions! But, getting her to stop biting is the bigger issue, then getting him to be polite is the next issue.

I don't think I'd just separate them. Their entire lives they're going to be around and have to deal with people they don't really like or get along with. They need to figure out how to coexist . . . and the teacher needs to be a HUGE part of that.

Rachel said...

Sounds to me like separating the two of them may be your best bet. I wish I had some other advice for you but, I don't. she will grow out of it though. I haven't bitten anyone in at least a year.

That Chick Over There said...

I agree with Edie.

Laura said...

This is a hard one...my second son went through it...and has short lapses in judgement at times.

I think you have covered all the basis. I also think that the little boy should be monitored more. If he is causing her to get upset, well...

GOOD LUCK!

I know what it is like to have a biter -it sure bites the big one! Hang in there.

Amy said...

Delurking here...
Sorry to hear she is a biter. I wish I had advice...probably best not to give attention either negative or positive. Hope this phase ends soon.

Good Luck!

dawn224 said...

oh - so hard - I have no ideas but I'll send tooth guard kind of thoughts your way!

SJ said...

Yes, biting does suck. In my situation Isaac was moved to another class, and then it pretty much stopped. The boy didn't have Isaac around at close reach to bite anymore, and eventually he left the center. That didn't stop Isaac from biting his brother though, mostly when he wanted his way. It comes and goes, it really does. I think it's a 2nd child syndrome. Do you think biting Audrey back would work? Say if she bit you or her sister? Sounds nuts, but I hear it's effective.

Kelly M said...

SOrry I got nothing for ya! But I do find it very ironic that she is only biting 1 kid. So that makes me question, what exactly is this kid doing to her? To me if this was a real problem she would be biting everyone, right? Heck what do I know...

frannie said...

I think I told you, but can't remember.

the little girl I nannied was a big biter and was almost thrown out of her preschool-- we had to use tabasco sauce as a last resort. and it worked. fast.

shawnysmoonbeam said...

Hi,
Both my twins were biters.I did everything under the sun to stop it,unfortunately they didnt.They just stopped on their own.My best advice is keep them apart in the same class as much as possible and when the biting occurs give a time out and dont make a big deal over it ,it will get boring and stop on its own.I also would have the teacher keep eyes on the other kid.The more attention that it gets the more it will happen.Kids like all attention even negative.Oh by the way it took 8 months for them stop.Good luck and be a mamma bear when it comes to your kid,no one else will be as protective or supportive.
Love Shawny

my4kids said...

I don't really have any good advice mostly Izzak was the bitten but usually was the same kid and in his case unprovoked, he even broke the skin and made him bleed once.
Madison still does it to the boys occasionally though but only has ever done it to her brothers because they are bigger and she gets frustrated.