Monday, March 16, 2009


I wish I could erase last week, but actually I kind of feel like I did with the sickness and medicine-head and snot and headaches I had all week. I felt like a sloth not going to the gym or doing the Shred DVD and two nights going to bed before the kids did.

And I didn't get a chance to really hang out with Ashley before she headed off to Myrtle Beach for a long weekend with the grandparents.

And Ray was gone all weekend too, spending time with the guys on the street attempting to play golf in 40 degree weather.

So it was just me and Audrey all weekend. Saturday was, well, cold and wet. She had dance class and we went to lunch and the library. Then we hit Old Navy with our 30% coupon and money from the asthma clinic to buy some much needed pajamas for Audrey and socks for Ashley (and maybe, just maybe a shirt for me. But just one.)

So the nap that should have happened was really a five minute cat nap in the van when we were almost home. Needless to say, after dinner she was toast.

It was only 7:00pm, but she had been yawning for about an hour already. We were home, I was going through the mail while Audrey attempted to wind down while watching Max & Ruby.

And then she wanted a lollipop. I told her no, she had already had one from the chinese restaurant where we picked up dinner. That was not what she wanted to hear. Crying, laying on the floor crying, being carried up the stairs to her room crying, crying in her room while I tried to calm her down crying. I finally gave up after attempting to put on her pj's and just holding her.She wanted none of that. I told her that I would be in my room if she wanted me. And I left her room, closed the door, and laid on the floor to wait for her.

I only had to wait a few seconds. She came right out, still crying, and into my arms. I took her into my room and into one of the chairs. I held her close and rocked her. It was 7:28pm. By 7:34pm, she was sound asleep.

In those few minutes, I had time to think about how I was not going to get pjs on her, whether or not she will need to pee in the middle of the night, how I really missed Ashley and Ray.

And I wondered if this was the last time I would rock Audrey to sleep. And that made me sad. I tried to remember the last time Ashley was rocked to sleep, and I couldn't. I am sure at some point she had a night like this where holding her was the only way to calm her down, but I couldn't find that one night in my memory.

And I really wish I could.


Laura said...


Loukia said...

That is sad! I know what you mean, though... the grow up way too fast..

Pamela said...

You're writing. So if you forget, you can pick up your blog journal and read it.

I think about these things now -- and wish I'd written more about my childrens early years.

Sometimes I look at photos and wonder "what, when, where, and why?"