All that talk yesterday about the bullying and how to deal with it got me thinking about how I would deal with it when I start teaching. And then that just gets me nervous as there are days where I doubt what I am doing. I mean, really, who do I think I am changing careers after thirty? And what will the other teachers think? What if I can't handle it? What if I don't pass the PRAXIS? What if I do all this and it doesn't work out and I just threw away $20,000 on a master's degree?
Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled at the aspect of being a teacher. The more I think about it, the more excited I get. After every classroom observation I do I think, Hell Yea, I can do that! But I tend to second-guess decisions on a daily basis and I worry to much about not being prepared. I think about how the teachers I have observed so far have told me the hardest part of the job is the parents. Great. But, I deal with crappy people all the time in my current job, so I should be okay, right?
I do have someone to look up to, though. Out of college, Ray took a job as an IT consultant as he had a Management Science degree from Virginia Tech. For most of the six years until Ashley was born, Ray traveled. But by the time I got pregnant with Ashley, he was burnt out. He hated answering to someone else. He was sick of traveling (although I loved all the airline miles and Marriott points). His dream job? Real estate. So he went for it. He passed the real estate exam, got hooked up with a mom and son team in Virginia, and off he went on a new career the same time he had a brand new baby at home. And now? He's thriving. He's loves his career and his decision and he's happy and I'm happy he's happy.
I just get nervous...who doesn't?