Thursday, January 03, 2008

Trouble

Growing up, my brother and I pretty much did our own things. We had our sibling fights, but what I remember most from when I was little was me playing school or with my dolls, and Mike playing in the sandbox. Neither of us were willing to play each other's games, and that was okay. And Ray's brother is 8 years younger than him, a pretty big gap for kids to try and be playmates.

But Ray and I knew we wanted two kids close together so they could be playmates, you know, keep each other occupied while I sit back and sip coffee and read the paper.

When Audrey was born, Ashley couldn't wait for her to react to her. And once Audrey started smiling or laughing in reaction to something Ashley did, Ashley loved that.

Then Audrey started walking and doing stuff her sister didn't necessarily like. And Ashley messes with Audrey as well. She will bump into her in the hallway or pull on her foot or just touch her even when I say don't.

So now the sibling fighting begins.

Last week, Ashley was quietly playing with her figurines in the playroom. And Audrey marched right up to the table and knocked over all her figurines in one sweep of her arm. And she smiled the entire time she did it. Ashley fell apart crying, and Audrey laughed.

Ashley is constantly taking things from her sister. Her stuffed animals, books, whatever Audrey has in her hands, all of a sudden Ashley wants it or says she was playing with it. And it drives me nuts. Right now we are making Ashley trade Audrey if Audrey has something Ashley wants, and so far it's working.

And Audrey really doesn't like to be touched. I picked her up from school one day before Christmas, and her teachers said she was kind of crabby all day. So I am putting Audrey in her seat and I tell Ashley that Audrey is grumpy and not to mess with her. And what does Ashley do? Immediately reaches over and tries to tickle her. Audrey starts crying and Ashley gets mad.

Maybe in high school they will share clothes? Be best friends? Or am I just dreaming? I need to hear from all of you who grew up with sisters...

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23 comments:

ktjrdn said...

I feel your pain. This weekend, Ally tried to take something away from Anya, and I told her if she wanted to play with her, to picka toy Anya didn't have in her hand. Anya then ran to put as many toys as she could fit in her hands before Ally could get any of them.

Me and my sister were 3 years apart, and fought a lot. i don't know when it will get better.

That Chick Over There said...

My sister and I had to share a room growing up. We did not get along. I mean, we physically fought one other. We did NOT get along.

She's my best friend now. She's my sweetie. I can't imagine my life without her.

Pam said...

I didn't have sisters- just brothers. But, my mom says when we were younger my little brother and I were close (only 14 months apart), but I remember lots of fighting. I adore both my brothers now though! So, give them 20 years!

I do love the trade idea to teach Ashley she can't just take what she wants if her sister has it. I think we will need that rule here soon!

I'm home with a sick baby today....not much sleep happened here last night! I'm so sleepy!

Carrie Sue said...

Dreaming!

We had the same scenario as "that chick over there." There is a 2 year age difference between my sister & I. We hated to share anything and fought over everything. Knock down, drag 'em out, I hate you forever fights. Being kids together was not fun at all, but I cherish our adult relationship, we couldn't be closer. Funny how things work out.

Heather said...

I have a boy and a girl, so a bit different. They have their moments of annoying eachother, but there are sweet times too. I hope it gets better when they are older!!

Bethany said...

My sister and I are about 21 months apart. We shared a room and hated each other! HATED!

Now? She is my best friend and I don't know what I'd do without her.

She is moving 15 minutes closer to me in February (right before the baby is born) and I can't wait!!

deam said...

My sister is 4 years younger than me and we did not get along... but I am commenting because my daughters are 22 months apart (3 and 17 mos) and we are going through the EXACT same things you wrote about. And I had them close for the same reasons.

We are doing the trading and I am watching Aubrey put her hair in Molly's face so Molly can get in trouble for pulling it... so now both girls get a time out :)

So thanks for making our household seem more normal today!

CPA Mom said...

seriously? You know you don't want to know my sister story. too late, you already know it.

lisa's chaos said...

I think it still sounds like heaven to have two girls. I was a lonely only, then I had one daughter and three boys - they always got along. So I can't help with your problem but I'm sure they will always love each other even if they end up fighting lots.

Edie said...

Honestly, I don't think the age difference matters at all. :) Kids will be kids and they will fight. My sister and I were 4.5 years apart in age, but 5 years apart in grade level. (if that makes sense) We were always forced to play with each other when we were little and at home and there was A LOT of fighting. There were good times too, but a lot of verbal fighting, for sure. It got MUCH worse when I was a teenager. But, almost instantly, when I moved out of the house, we got along great and have ever since. Don't get me wrong, we don't agree on everything, but for the most part, we are very close to each other. So, give it about 18 years, and you'll be amazed at their bond. :) My advice doesn't help at all, does it? ;)

Misty said...

the relationship of sisters is so complicated... that closeness may not happen until adulthood. :(

frannie said...

I've heard of letting kids have 1-2 toys/ items that they absolutely do not have to share. Things that are really special to them. and that the rest is fair game. Maybe that would help a little. probably not, but I'm trying to give you a little hope. :)

The very nice man said...

No need to panic! They will love each other and come to each others aid once they are grown up.
Siblings who don't fight usually don't care for each other when they are grown up.
All is well.

Beccy said...

My sister and I fought like cat and dog but we'd also stick up for each other against other people. Even now we can get a bit crabby when we spend a long time in each other's company but we adore each other and miss each other very much.

Rachel said...

Ok, I only grew up with a brother, but I have 3 sisters living in my house! Welcome to my world.

Both Kaylie and Haley bother the crap out of Alyssa. They seem to think she is their real life doll. One day, she will knock them both out and I will not do anything because we have warned them.

Kaylie and Haley both argue over toys. Constantly. They always want what the other one has. It drives me insane!

I'm like you, I only hope it will get better.

Lost A Sock said...

Boy, all you have to do is change the names to little boy names, and the figurines to traines, and you've got the story of my boys as well. I've got high hopes that they will grow up and be great.

My sister and I are the same age difference, and things with us were very much as you described until I was about 13 or so, and then once I hit high school we became best friends. Now she lives with me, so tell Ashley to buy a house with an extra bedroom, hahaha.

Michele_3 said...

Oh goodness! It happens with brothers too! I see this constantly with my boys everyday-My 4 yr old thinks he is 10 and always messes with the older ones things & it just gets more chaotic by the day it seems lately..

I have a sister too,She is about 7 yrs older- We did the same things as Ashley & Audrey-I think it is just a sibling thing we all do when were young!
It drives me bananas at times though! Happy New Year!
:)

BS said...

One sister is 9 years younger and the other is 19 years younger - the brothers - oh, that is another story !!

SJ said...

I have sisters but they are older than me and I didn't 'grow up' with them. So I have nothing to offer you on that. I will say however that I do hope that they grow up to be the best of friends. Isn't that what sisters should be!?

And the sibling rivelry goes on in my house too - drives me nuts as well! Good luck with that, and if you figure out what works - let me know!

bermudabluez said...

hmmmm. Sisters are tough. I have one older by four years and one younger by twelve years. I am much closer to my older sister, although we fought like cats & dogs growing up in the SAME room!! Being twelve when my younger sister was born, I HATED all the babysitting I had to do. And now. We're not close. In fact, she is not close with any of our siblings!

Julie said...

welcome to my world!

Sunshine said...

I didn't have a sister growing up either, so I feel a little unprepared for my girls fighting. I think they have lovely and close times but their fighting is nastier than when my boys fight. Argh!

I'm on the same page, if you come up with a great formula, pass it along!

Pamela said...

they will love each other beyond your imagination