The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

Lawyer Mama wrote a compelling post yesterday about why we tend to write about all the bad mommy stuff on our blogs. At first, I thought to myself, I don't do that. Then I looked back. And I totally do.

But why do I do it? Because I need all of your help. Remember when Ashley was coming out of her room at bedtime? I received so many emails and comments with awesome ideas that totally worked. I incorporated a few of the ideas and ever since then (knock on wood) she has stayed in her room. Without writing about it and getting feedback, I would still be pulling my hair out over this.

I am still a rookie, and having this network of friends out there that can help me out when I need it works for me.

Yes, I have my good "mommy" days. I have days were I am patient all day long, where Ashley doesn't whine most of the time, where Audrey doesn't try to bite us. But more often then not, I get impatient or I yell at Ashley for pushing her sister and then regret and guilt step in.

As we know from all the media stories as of late, we as moms in this day and age are doing more for our kids and more with our kids than mothers in the past. What comes with that is a little bit of good, a little bit of bad and a little bit of ugly. Good? Ray and Ashley having "date night" Saturday and having a great time the whole time without any whining or crying. Bad? Audrey trying to bite us and then looking at us and saying "no bite". Ugly? Ashley constantly trying to manipulate her sister, hold her hand, pick her up, whatever even though Audrey completely hates it. And crying and yelling pursue.

I think a lot about what my kids will remember about me and their childhood when they grow up. I hope they look back and think, I had a great Mom. She was fun, she danced, she played and she was just plain fun. What do you want your kids to remember about you and their childhood?

Sex Offenders

This past Sunday, one of my good friends, Adrienne, stopped by on her way to Myrtle Beach with her kids and sister-in-law. Adrienne and I have been friends for almost a decade and she has a daughter who is five weeks older than Ashley. We lived in the same neighborhood in Virginia (where we still own a house, anyone want to buy it??). Ashley and Grace were pretty inseperable, and leaving them was one of the hard parts of moving to North Carolina.

Anyways, Adrienne and Ray normally get into pretty heated discussions for fun. I would just sit on the sidelines and make sure no fists were thrown. For once, though, Adrienne and Ray agreed. Adrienne told us that a registered sex offender moved into a section of our old neighborhood and of course it was causing a big fuss. Her question to us - what would we do? Would be put signs in their yard and make sure everyone knew? Would we watch that person like a hawk?

Ray was pretty adamant, he would know exactly what this guy did and his whereabouts at all time. I don't know about sending flyers out about this guy, but definitely making everyone in the neighborhood aware is probably a good idea. Not to mention that guy living in that section just brought down home values. What do you think?

Go here to see if there are any sex offenders in your neighborhood...

What Would Make You Sad?

It's funny, just earlier today I was thinking how I never post anything really worthy of a good discussion, like I see in so many other blogs. And then, bam, it happened. Something controversial.

Someone I know told me today she had an abortion the week before Christmas. Why? Because she's young and doesn't want kids. But then why did it happen, how did she let it happen? She's smart, professional. I honestly don't know.

And it made me very sad. I actually went into the bathroom and cried. I was sad for everyone out there that I know right now who is desperately trying to have kids, all the people who are going through multiple IVF cycles just hoping this one time, it will work. I remember back to when Ray and I were trying. We tried for a year before we became pregnant with Ashley. And that was a very hard year. Every month thinking, this is it. The stars are aligned, this is our month, only it wasn't. But we were lucky, we did get pregnant on our own. And then with Audrey, my doctor put me on Clomid after we had been trying for a while again. And again, lucky for me that worked.

I'm not mad at her, she made a decision and she did it. I am just sad that the decision had to be made. In a perfect world, we all would take all those kids who weren't wanted by their mothers. I see kids in the hospital where I work walking without shoes or looking a mess and then seeing their parents look like they don't care as they have good clean clothes on. I read the stories in the paper about kids abandoned on the highway or left alone for hours and it kills me. Maybe deep down that's really why I want to be a teacher. For all those kids who need an adult just to say somebody loves you.

I don't really want to get into a pro-life, pro-choice debate. I just hadn't known anyone personally who had gotten an abortion, and I didn't realize it would affect me this much. It made me think what if that was me at her age? But at her age I was married, and already considering a family. What if that had happened to me in college? I was smart, I knew better. Will she regret it 30 years later? Who knows. I would hope she would at least wonder what that baby would have been like.

Would this have made you sad as well?